- Tori Nieusma, LCSW
PRIDE Month and Queer Relationships
Updated: Jul 9, 2021
I’m not sure if you’ve seen Schitt’s Creek, but what made the show so groundbreaking for the LGBTQIA+ community was not just that it showed multiple queer relationships but rather that it showed that spectrum of relationships without the conflict arising from a homophobic or oppressive narrative.
Schitt’s Creek made queer relationships just that- relationships.
Relationships within the LGBTQIA+ community deal with the same variety of everyday ups and downs that come with any close or intimate relationship. They often, however, experience these ups and downs while also navigating many other external issues such as:
feeling disconnected or judged by their families
feeling unsafe or unwelcome in faith communities
worrying about the threat of violence from someone who disagrees with their identity or lived experience
limited social supports
It should go without saying that the systems of oppression within our society perpetuate these struggles.
These external issues of course have a significant impact on the individuals in the relationship and on the relationship as a whole. This can lead to additional barriers within intimate relationships as partners try to tackle the variety of stressors they are facing both as individuals and as a couple.
Typical barriers in romantic relationships like sex or desire discrepancies (when one partner wants significantly more or less sex than their counterpart(s)) suddenly become exacerbated by lack of representation of normalized relationships in the media leading to feelings of isolation, difficulty accessing resources to know how to navigate such challenges, and anxiety about the quality of the relationship, itself.
Another big external stressor that can have a significant impact on a relationship is lack of support or acceptance by individuals within each partner’s life. Lack of support or acceptance may mean that you or your partner(s) suddenly become excluded from certain areas of one another’s lives. This can then lead to a feeling of disconnect within the relationship. It can sometimes be difficult to effectively communicate feelings of disconnect to your partner.
It is so important to feel supported and heard as you navigate through the various stressors that life presents, and therapy is a great tool for helping to communicate feelings of disconnect and hurt and helping you discuss possible ways to overcome these barriers and strengthen your connection and foundation as a partnership.
At Honeybee, we want to provide that support through a safe and welcoming environment as you navigate through these stressors and the impacts they can have on your relationships and well-being. Contact us today if you would like to discuss any of these concerns and the ways that we may be able to help you overcome desire discrepancies, sexual dysfunction, communication barriers, or simply to strengthen the foundation of your already healthy relationship!
We welcome all genders, forms of partnership among consenting adults, and all orientations. Our methods are evidence and community based, and we provide collaborative expertise to help you achieve your relationship goals.