Eating, Body Image, & the Holidays
- Cassy Taverna, MSW, LCSW
- Nov 12
- 4 min read
During the holidays, food is often the main focus of celebrations and family time. I’ve spent many years helping people handle the many challenges that come with the holiday season, and almost universally (and independent of what brings each person to therapy), food anxiety comes up.
What do I think causes most of the stress and anxiety around food and body image during the holidays? I have found that the biggest culprits are:
* Body comments (whether it's someone commenting on your weight being higher or lower, their opinion of you looking better or worse, or any other aspects of your appearance)
* Diet culture (the pressure and reward system for both having a specific body type and ranking foods as good or bad)
* Complicated family dynamics (which sometimes also include the aforementioned body comments and diet culture)
And, this doesn't even include the way New Year’s resolutions often revolve around messages about setting goals to lose weight or change how we look.
Let’s be honest: there are so many more interesting things to talk about than weight or the latest diet trend.
But, in addition to that, I find it helpful to remember that you have rights, and I really like the way these rights are outlined by Evelyn Tribole's Intuitive Eater’s Holiday Bill of Rights.
This bill of rights is a list of compassionate guidelines to help you joyfully engage with food this holiday season and leave diet culture (and those weird comments from that nosy person in your family) behind.
Intuitive Eater's Holiday Bill of Rights:
1. You have the right to savor your meal, without cajoling or judgment, and without discussion of calories eaten or the amount of exercise needed to burn off said calories.
2. You have the right to enjoy second servings without apology.
3. You have the right to honor your fullness, even if that means saying “no thank you” to dessert or a second helping of food.
4. It is not your responsibility to make someone happy by overeating, even if it took hours to prepare a specialty holiday dish.
5. You have the right to say, “No thank you,” without explanation, when offered more food.
6. You have the right to stick to your original answer of “no”, even if you are asked multiple times. Just calmly and politely repeat “No, thank you, really.”
7. You have the right to eat pumpkin pie for breakfast.
Planning ahead, setting clear boundaries, leaning on a trusted person, and practicing self-kindness can really help.
If you are looking for more support, here is some guidance from 4 amazing dietitians who are also available to meet with as you prepare for this holiday season!
"Food is a way to connect, not a test of willpower. Sharing meals, laughter, and traditions can nourish emotional health and recovery as much as the nutrients themselves.Take time this season to honor your food memories and traditions. Pull out a favorite family recipe, bake something that reminds you of loved ones, or bring a dish that feels meaningful to you. Reconnecting with the joy, comfort, and history of food helps shift the focus from control to connection. Eating is about so much more than just calories or rules."
"At the end of the day, a holiday is just...another day! You're allowed to have those foods for the next several months, and even into the spring and summer if you're feeling it! I have encouraged folks to notice any "panicky" or impulsive eating around certain foods and instead of interpreting this as proof that they can't control themselves around these foods, it may actually be an invitation to include these foods more often so that they can become neutralized."
"Humans have celebrated holidays and special occasions with food as far back as our history can take us and holidays should be a celebration and not stressful (at least when it comes to the food!). Try not to restrict what you're eating before a holiday meal to "save up" for it, this will help alleviate an added level of hangry to potential frustration that might be sparked by seeing certain family members."
"Holidays are a special time of year that can also bring up tricky food and body feelings. Whenever many people are gathering, especially over the holidays, this invites lots of relationships with food and belief systems around wellness to the table. Something to remember is that someone's comments about food or bodies are a direct reflection of their own relationship with food/bodies, and have nothing to do with us! It can sometimes be helpful to treat holidays as an experiment, to see how much diet culture is entrenched in what people are saying at holiday gatherings. Just neutrally observe, and debrief with a safe person afterward, whether it is a buddy, a partner, a therapist, or a dietitian."
The Intuitive Eater's Holiday Bill of Rights is copyrighted material that can only be used under the following conditions: Copyright © 2010 by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD Published at www.IntuitiveEating.org
Rights to Reproduce: You may reproduce this post, as long as you leave it unchanged, you don’t charge for it, and you include the entire copyright statement. Please let us know you have used it by sending a website link or an electronic copy to Etribole at gmail dot com.
DISCLAIMER: The information is intended to inform readers and is not intended to replace specific advice from a health care professional.
Comments